The Need for Science
—for Chris, on the anniversary of moving into our house, August 14, 1989-1994
1. Invisible Weight
[I]f appearance and essence were the same thing, there would be no need for science. —Michio Kaku
Or microscopes, telescopes, steam machines
for stripping wallpaper—remember
that bathroom, navy blooming with pink
irises the size of my head?—poetry, news
analysts, physicians, the FBI, dating
services. The perfect match, we meant
ourselves for each other, at first sight
(allowing for the collapse
of what seems no time), so made
ourselves, over,
took
each other's measure, lip-to-lip,
did not count seconds speeding up
our heartbeats, washing
over our bodies—the past emptying
out the future's rush and roar
dimmed by the sound of our breathing, the hum
of his old air conditioner, heaved
down one set of stairs, up another. Every touch
left its smudge, its slow, cumulative,
invisible weight.
We'd had to wait
an age for each other. And we had
what still looked like forever.
2. Visible Weight
By simple rotation, we can interchange any of the three spatial dimensions. Now, if time is the fourth dimension, then it is possible to make "rotations" that convert space into time and vice-versa. —Michio Kaku
If I could turn a Kenmore washer into time
I could rotate it through this door
elaborated by a Victorian mind
that wouldn't have conceived it. Or
that I would want it, a hundred-
some years down the line. I have
misread again, willfully,
not only science, but history—
it is so hot, and the machine
so unwieldy in its space,
who could blame me for reducing theory
to mere machine?
The physicists,
clucking collective tongues
recisely measured. Their voices
take just so much space in my mind.
Call it x. In time,
they'll shrink to nothing, small matter
converted into energy I could use, now,
resting my back against dusty woodwork,
while this physicist watches over his glasses.
All before we married. He considers
matters of space and time,
machine
versus merely human mind. Counts
complications. The move, the wedding: all
sooner undertaken, sooner finished.
Since then, we've learned a thing or two,
have buried friends we held,
a mother who held us. We recover
nothing: holding each other, we hold
each other's absence. We are turning
into the past. In retrospect,
I would prefer to take my time.
3. Anniversary
Newton, writing 300 years ago, thought that time beat at the same rate everywhere in the universe…. However, according to special relativity, time can beat at different rates, depending on how fast one is moving. —Michio Kaku
Another finished orbit. Recollections
past, or passing, by the time we mark
a heartbeat, a line—anniversary
and universe both contain that turn,
the rhythm we walk. Long
days rush us through
the universe, the universe
through us: another year, or the nightly throb, his pulse
against my pulse, starlight's insouciant wave
rippling the screen. The blind
flaps in arid wind, the heatwave
we confuse with
five years back, summer
beating down two years before,
repeating
a house-of-mirrors' endless trick
reflections. Hell, it's only time. The day we fell
it must have seemed to him I stood still,
my hand resting on a book, composing
my response; but my mind moved
so fast he'd have seen its blueshift
if it were a star, he a star gazer watching
space collapse between us. It must
have seemed to him, but I don't know.
We move through different spaces, different times,
the same space and time differently—
I love the distances, roughnesses,
rotations, odd warps and woofs
we travel to touch each other.
On my birthday
two years after we met we moved in here;
in between, a love at first sight
took two years to ripen
then was there. It is my birthday today.
How long has it been? we ask each other. Yesterday,
forever. The bathroom's eggshell walls
needing paint again, a couch gone dingy, paired
chairs we sit on, staring
into space: all collapse, give
way to mystery. I still love,
over time, even the damage
time has done to him, though, minute-
by-murderous-minute, he looks the same;
though we move so fast
we only seem to have stood still.