Healthy Relationships

Most of us will have many more friendships than romantic relationships in our lives. Even when we find ourselves involved in a romantic relationship, it is important to establish and maintain good, solid friendships. Too many young people make the mistake of dropping their friendships when they fall in love. Don’t let that happen to you! Follow these tips for healthy friendships:

• Respect boundaries: Do not overwhelm friends with constant attempts at making contact via phone, text, or email. Make sure there is balanced effort between friends.
• Avoid competition: Healthy friendships do not include comparisons of money, attractiveness, accomplishments, or anything else. Don’t try to “one up” each other.
• Maintain a healthy self-image: Extreme vanity or constant self-criticism can be exhausting for friends.
• Be genuine: Good friends should feel safe expressing honest feelings.
• Avoid judgment: Give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t overreact to small, rare transgressions.
• Be positive: Try to find humor in life and enjoy laughing together. Incessant complaining is a turn off.
• Listen: Try to understand your friends. Avoid giving advice unless it is requested. Try not to dominate conversations with your own interests, but ensure that you are represented.
• Be open-minded: Allow room for change and mistakes. This is how we grow.
• Preserve confidentiality: Keep personal information about your friends private. Be trustworthy with the information that they confide in you.

Romance can begin in all kinds of different ways. You may have been introduced by a relative, met online, had the same math class, or even grown up together for years. When deeper feelings strike, we often seek confirmation that the relationship is worth pursuing…that it could be “the one.” Understanding these essential factors of healthy romantic relationships will help us determine that.

• Closeness: Partners genuinely like being connected to one another. They offer emotional support during times of hardship. They feel a sense of comfort and relief just by being together.
• Shared goals and beliefs: Companions hold similar life philosophies, values, priorities, and goals. Each partner holds the relationship as a priority that deserves to be nurtured.
• Trust: Each expects that the other will act in the best interest of the relationship.
• Respect: Couples feel loved and accepted even when they disagree. They know they each have a right to individual opinions, feelings, interests, and friendships outside the relationship.
• Individual self-worth: Partners feel good about themselves when they are close to one another, and they are also comfortable alone.
• Positive communication: Happy couples make a point of expressing positive sentiments like “thank you" and “I love you” to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made. Problems are addressed through calm, rational and respectful discussion in which each partner feels heard, understood, and appreciated.
• Affection & intimacy: Companions are comfortable sharing intimate thoughts and vulnerable feelings. Sharing of affection is reciprocal and they enjoy a mutually satisfying physical relationship.